I often wonder what people think of our family when we are out in public and Josephine has one of her wonderful meltdowns. Do they think, “What a spoiled brat” or “Why aren’t those parents doing anything” or “Poor parents! Maybe they need a break”? Most of the time, by the look on their faces, it’s 1 or 2. In fact, I think 3 is a near impossibility!

And I don’t mind the stares or the opinions or the sympathies. I take it all in stride. Just part of being a parent of a special needs kid.

But when Josephine gets so out of control that our own favorite therapist is at his wits end during a session (last night’s session, in fact), I have to question myself and ask, “What can I DO?” and “What am I NOT doing?”.

When Josephine wakes up from a nap, or from a good night’s sleep for that matter, she is upset, cranky and many times, unruly and inconsolable. Yesterday was no different. This afternoon was no different.

Often I try to calm her down by cuddling, offering her a drink or snack, giving her the favorite stuffed fish or perhaps the absolute best of the best, her socks. Forget the cuddling – AIN’T HAPPENIN’! She shoves the drink/snack and fish back in my face. And just when I think the socks are the answer, more hair comes out…more spit to clean up…more screams…more biting (not me, thankfully)…more frustrations. So I let her cry and freak until she calms down, which generally takes at least 1 hour. I don’t know what else to do.

I know part of her frustration and anger comes out of not being able to tell me what she wants or needs. I can only hope as she gets older, these meltdowns decrease. But I have to live in today and figure out how to handle the now.

So, is it spoiling or survival? Call it what you will. I call it my life.