Pictures of Two Beautiful Girls

We were able to capture a real adorable moment with Josephine and Isabelle bonding at the end of the night.  Too precious!

And I still can’t believe Isabelle is here.

I was holding Isabelle while these pictures were being taken.  She wanted to cuddle with me.  My heart was filled with pure joy and amazement the whole time I was holding her in my arms.  Part of me wanted to cry (happy tears), but the other part of me took over and said, “This is not about you.  Focus on this wonderful girl laying on your chest.”

And that’s just what I did.

What an Amazing Day – After the Meeting of Josephine and Isabelle…6-11-12 @ 12:02 AM

I feel validated.  I feel inspired.  I feel in awe.  I feel…happy.

Josephine and Isabelle had a wonderful first day together.  I will be posting the video of their first of MANY play times for the week, so keep an eye out for it.

Since Josephine’s diagnosis in July 2010, there have been many times when I have felt alone in this journey.  No matter how many times people say they understand how I feel and no matter how patient people are with Josephine’s behavior, they can’t truly understand my heart and how it breaks throughout the day or week.

But Lori and Mike Kelley CAN understand.  And that mutual understanding brings tears to my eyes…now in fact.

When I look at Isabelle and Josephine sitting next to one another, I see a bond.  A peace.  I see Josephine in Isabelle and Isabelle in Josephine.  Same voices, same eyes, same mannerisms, same body type, same smile, same crooked index fingers.

I finally feel an acceptance and relief I have wanted for almost 3 years now.

Please don’t get me wrong and let me be clear – we have the most amazing and supportive family and friends EVER and I am extremely grateful and lucky.  We could not have gone through these last 3 years without those friends and family.  We are blessed.

And now we are blessed to have the gorgeous and supportive Kelley family in our lives for this week and, I know, for many years to come.

We share something very special and unique.  We share Tetrasomy 8p.  But most of all, we share two inspiring and adorable little girls that are taking this world and flipping it on its ear!

WAY TO GO, J-Bean and Izzy!

 

Before The Meeting of Josephine and Isabelle…6-10-12 @ 9:12 AM

I am so full of excitement and anticipation right now! Why??? Because in less than 1 hour, our little J-Bean will be meeting her partner in crime, Isabelle!

Isabelle is almost 6 years old, from Iowa and was born with Tetrasomy 8p Mosaicism, just like J-Bean.

This is a meeting, not only for the girls, but for me as a mom and us as a family.

I will finally be able to talk to someone face to face who TOTALLY gets it when Josephine has her meltdowns. When Josephine won’t eat or gets mistaken for a kid half her age, this mom and dad will be able to understand.

There is no hesitation, no anxiety, no nervousness. Just excitement.

I truly didn’t know when or IF this meeting would ever happen and now it’s HERE!

WAY COOL!

Pride and Joy Minus the Tears

I did it!  I made it through the first part of Josephine’s journey – getting ready…

…riding the bus…

…and off to school!

Now is the next step…making it through the school day!  Something tells me I will be fine.  This is what Josephine needed and what I needed.  She is good and that helps my heart smile.

This is the Moment.

In 7 hours and 40 minutes (give or take a few seconds), my little girl will get on her first school bus and head off to her first day of preschool at P.G. Chambers School in Cedar Knolls, NJ.

I AM FREAKING!!!  And I haven’t gone to bed yet!

I have been so excited for this moment and played it out so many times in my head.  I imagined celebrating after Josephine rides off into the sunrise.

Instead, I will be following her bus, most likely in tears, to make sure she is all settled and adjusting to her new school.  After all, Josephine will be there every day from 9:00 am – 3:00 pm, so should be comfortable and happy.

Butterflies are racing around my stomach as I type.  Don’t know if I will be able to sleep.  Not what I expected.  I thought I was stronger than this.  Then it hit me…I am a MOM whose daughter is going to school for the first time.  Why wouldn’t I cry?  Why wouldn’t I be nervous?  I am a mom who’s had a companion (no matter how loud the cries or how frustrating the days) since August 27, 2008.  And now she’s leaving.

Wow!  It’s a lot to take in and process.

I’ll check in with ya once I am back home from school, as long as I can type through my tears of happiness, sadness, nervousness and most of all, PRIDE.

My little girl is going to school.  Wow!

Happy 3rd Birthday, Josephine!!!

Three years ago, you brightened our lives with your tiny smile and large spirit.

Two years ago, our world changed up again and we didn’t know what to expect or when.

One year ago, we continued to wonder, hope and dream.

Today, our dreams are coming true and our little principessa is our miracle!

You can stand on your own, slowly walk to get a toy, tell us what you want (maybe not in complete sentences, but we get ya!), laugh at silly things, shine your gorgeous smile whenever you see fish, scoot around teasing our dog and generously give tons of hugs and kisses with the most amazing warmth and love.

Thank you, Josephine Betty Joy.  Thank you for shining in our life.  For teaching us how to get through the rough patches.  For showing us the world through your beautiful brown eyes.  For being you.

I love you, Darling Jos-a-Bean!

Seriously…STOP with the Hair!

As adorable as Josephine may look in the first picture (God, I LOVE that smile), I hate looking at it.  Her hair was finally back and beautiful and we CHOSE to get her haircuts, both around Easter and in early July.  But, once again, I was forced to make a decision I didn’t want to make – same as last year at this SAME time – to cut off most of Josephine’s hair because of TRICH.

I wanted to cry while explaining the the hairdresser what I wanted (or didn’t want is maybe the better way to say it), but I held it back and pressed on.  Inside, though, I wanted to shout at anyone to help us with this disorder and get my girl to stop pulling.

So, as we head into her 3rd birthday, part of me is saddened to know that her birthday pictures, while filled with joy, love, friends and presents, will also hold the horrible mark of Trichotillomania, a balding head with bits of peach fuzz sprouting all around.

Trich, Trich GO AWAY! Don’t Come Back ANY DAY!

Contrary to the title of this post, Josephine’s Trichotillomania has reared its ugly head.  Ironically, it is exactly ONE year ago since her first major pull.  Why now?  Josephine is a happy and funny little girl with a love for fish, paper and her brother.  So what is it about August?

My guess is as good as any, but think it’s certainly a path to consider…

Late July of 2010, Josephine started crawling on her own.  New words started emerging.  Progress was everywhere.  Early August of 2010, Josephine started pulling her hair.  She was overwhelmed by what was happening and found comfort in her own hair (and later, mine).

The hair pulling never completely went away, but certainly subsided enough so we could start brushing, styling and cutting Josephine’s hair.

Now we are in August of 2011 and again, we are seeing major progress with her skills – standing independently, cruising and walking independently (when the mood strikes her), improvement on a cognitive level – a lot for a 3 year old to process in a relatively short amount of time (I say relative because everything happens on “Josephine time”, not “the rest of the world time”).

However, while we are seeing great strides, Josephine again is having difficulty processing all these strides and takes it out the best way she knows … hair pulling (Trichotillomania)  and hair eating (Trichophagia).

I am very bothered, both in my heart and in my head, that the Trich as come back.  I have been told it may never go away, but I have also been told that Josephine is so young, so there is little data available to accurately give a prognosis.

I know another child with Tet 8p that also pulled hair, but that symptom seems to have disappeared for her.

So, is this a new symptom for Tet 8p that needs to be explored?  Would she have had this disorder regardless of her chromosome triplication?  Who knows and I suppose it’s best not to go there because I have to deal with the here and now and not the what ifs.  What ifs will cause ME to pull out MY hair and Lord knows, we don’t need another girl in this house that’s going bald!

My heart hurts because there is nothing worse than watching your baby hurt herself to soothe herself.  We try all we can to control her emotions and keep her calm, but when you are in the car on Route 80 in Pennsylvania or on the Garden State Parkway and a major meltdown occurs, little can be done to calm her down.  We stop the car, relax Josephine a bit, start driving again and the whole thing happens over and over again.

Do I wish Josephine could control herself and her Trich?  Absolutely.  Do I wish I could let Josephine’s hair grow long enough to make adorable pony tails?  Absolutely.

Do I think hair is what defines her?  Absolutely not.  Josephine is who she is, hair or no hair.  Just trying to ride out this next wave and keep hope that we can find a cure or treatment to help our little girl and this thing called Trich.

Bubbles, Bubbles Everywhere!

It might seem a bit odd that blowing bubbles is during a PT session, but most of the session start with bubbles, which helps calm down Josephine upon first sight of Lana (poor PT is gonna get a complex!).

Josephine still has trouble rounding her lips (well, she doesn’t do it at all, actually), so the fact that she is able to blow bubbles TWO separate times is certainly a milestone in my mind.  While standing independently no less!

Mixin’ It Up!

Another posting of Josephine and food – two of my most favorites!  Can’t live without either one!

This brownie-making moment was during a speech therapy session – learning how to follow instructions, learning about different foods, learning about different textures (not a huge favorite considering her sensory disorder), and the best part of it all, EATING THE BROWNIES!!!!